People in Texas who have gone through a divorce can tell you from their own experience that both negotiation and litigation can play a role in resolving differences and disagreements. It is foolish to immediately take the posture that you are going to fight each and every thing out in court. Doing so can be stressful, time consuming and expensive.
Truth be told, there probably are a host of issues on which estranged spouses agree, or on which they can come to an acceptable compromise, given some discussion and thought. This can also be an extremely helpful approach to take if one or both spouses wish to get remarried soon because quickly resolving the remaining issues allows you to move on with your new life.
The issue of privacy can also be a concern. If differences can be resolved through negotiation, the airing of dirty linen in open court can be avoided. It is also very important to keep children out of the line of fire and not place them in the uncomfortable position of feeling that they have to "choose sides" between their two divorcing parents. They don't need to read the divorce paperwork or hear detailed stories about why you remain upset with your ex-spouse.
When there are real issues of principle, such as if the other spouse is attempting to conceal assets or deny you a fair division of property, the receipt of child support or spousal support, or if you can't come to an agreeable solution on child custody, then the courts are there.
Your divorce attorney is experienced in these matters and has helped many other clients work these things out. They are also there and available to engage in calm and reasoned negotiations with the other side's lawyer in circumstances where a direct discussion between estranged spouses might quickly degenerate into a pointless shouting match. Rely on your lawyer, and things will go much smoother.
Source: Huffington Post, "Divorce Confidential: Should I Negotiate or Litigate My Divorce?" Caroline Choi, Sep. 25, 2013