Many Texas residents find that a divorce is necessary for their emotional well-being. However, how you handle your divorce can have a significant impact on your children’s emotional health and future as well. One parenting, behavior and education expert says that there are things that you can do to have a “good divorce” that actually benefits the entire family.
You should seek professional counseling for your children as well as yourself. Divorce is in some ways like a death that needs to be grieved. Further, you need to work to ensure that you don’t seek out another person with whom you will simply repeat the relationship patterns you had with your ex-spouse.
Ensure that your children feel like valuable family members. Often, children feel powerless when their parents get divorced. Give them a say in things like the decor of your new home, if you have one, where they will spend vacation time and new family traditions to remind them that their opinions matter.
Remember that your children are watching everything you do. They may believe that a happy, healthy relationship is not possible after they see their parents go through a divorce. When you start dating again, let them see what a good relationship looks like.
Act like an adult. Don’t speak negatively about your ex-spouse to your children. He or she is also their parent. By disparaging your ex, you can undermine their identity. Further, work to ensure that your children understand that they did not cause the divorce.
While you may have had a bad marriage, you can actually have a good divorce. However, that requires a lot of work, especially if you have children. It can benefit them in the long run as they grow into adults and have relationships of their own.
Texas family law attorneys can help their clients find therapists and other resources that can help them and their children adjust to their new lives. When a divorce ends a negative relationship, it can mean the start of a positive new family dynamic for everyone.
Source: The Huffington Post, “How to Make a Better Divorce” Dr. Gail Gross, Feb. 12, 2015
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