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Low-conflict divorce may be worse for the kids

On Behalf of | May 6, 2016 | Divorce

A low-conflict divorce sounds ideal on a lot of levels. Fighting with your spouse just adds a lot of stress to the situation and drags it out. If you two are mostly on the same page and can agree quickly and easily, the divorce will usually be faster, cheaper and more enjoyable.

However, for your kids, it may actually be worse. For one thing, children are usually better off being removed from a family life where there is a lot of conflict and fighting. If you didn’t have that, they’re losing stability, but there’s no upside because the home life wasn’t difficult for them to start with.

It can also be hard for kids to process why the marriage ended. They felt like they had a stable home. They thought everything was set in place and wouldn’t change. The drastic change then blindsides them, and they don’t get it. They don’t see what is happening behind the scenes. This can really upset their view of the world.

Experts note that children can then struggle with trust issues as they grow up. They may be unhappy in adulthood and have trouble meeting people and entering into serious relationships. They may never get married. The issue is often that they don’t trust that any relationship is stable or reliable, no matter what it looks like, so they are hesitant to get into a relationship and risk being hurt.

In high-conflict divorces, grown children can at least understand that they need a low-conflict relationship to be happy, but a low-conflict divorce can take that idea away from them.

If you and your spouse are splitting up in Texas, be sure you understand the full legal process.

Source: Psychology Today, “Honey, Let’s Get Divorced,” Hara Estorff Marano, accessed May 06, 2016