Austin Texas Family Law Blog

Even the most mature, amicable co-parenting relationships can be challenged when other people who are part of your children's lives are involved. You and your ex-spouse may have a healthy relationship that is focused on doing what's best for your kids. However, former in-laws and new significant others can threaten that relationship, often unwittingly, if you aren't prepared to deal with them.

Grandparents, aunts and uncles are a common source of conflict for co-parents. Perhaps you and your former mother-in-law never got along, for example. However, your kids love spending time with her. You have to look clearly at whether you object to that because you don't like her or on because she's a bad influence on the kids. A person can be a lousy in-law and a good grandparent. If, however, she's using her time with your children to criticize you, that's something you and your co-parent need to discuss and work to put an end to so that the kids can continue to have a relationship with her.

As you go through your divorce, you and your spouse will transition from being wedded partners to a relationship that is focused on your roles as co-parents. You'll still be in each other's lives for many years -- even when your kids become adults.

This doesn't necessarily mean that your relationship will get significantly easier -- at least not at first. You'll still be the same people you were when you were married. If you had trouble communicating civilly, that's not likely to change overnight. Anger and resentment over each other's actions may continue for a while. However, you have to commit to putting the past behind you to focus on doing what's best for your children.

Children with parents who have alcohol abuse issues can suffer from behavioral problems, depression and anxiety. Alcoholic parents too often fail to care for their children properly. At worst, they can be neglectful or even abusive.

If you're a parent who's struggled with alcohol and are going through a divorce, your co-parent may be seeking to limit your custody and visitation rights. You may see this as vindictive, but they may truly be concerned for your children's well-being. Most courts would prefer that parents be able to have a relationship with their children even if they are dealing with addictions -- assuming that there hasn't been violence or abuse.

Back-to-school time can be especially challenging for families where the parents are separated or divorced. If this is your first fall living apart, you're probably still figuring out how best to deal with your kids' school and extracurricular activities this upcoming school year.

Here are some things to keep in mind to help the year go as smoothly as possible for your children and for both of you:

• Agree to communicate regularly about your kids' homework, projects, grades and activities. If a child is struggling in a particular area, work together to help them rather than placing the blame on your co-parent.
• Commit to attend your children's school events together -- or at least to both be there. This means a lot to kids whose parents are no longer together.
• Try to meet together with your kids' teachers. It's best when teachers can have one conversation with both parents rather than having to meet with each one separately. This also keeps you and your co-parent on the same page and helps you agree to work toward the same goals for your children.