When a Texas friend or family member of yours is going through a divorce you will want to offer them support. You might be tempted to express how you feel about their spouse, but you should choose your words carefully. Following are things you should not say to someone who is going through a divorce.
Speaking negatively about their spouse
You might think you are helping by listing all the negative things about their spouse. However, someone starting the process will be experiencing a range of emotions, including:
• Anger
• Fear
• Anxiety
• Confusion
Most of all, they might be dealing with the hurt the divorce has caused, particularly if they still love their spouse and if they need to co-parent children with them.
Making unsupported promises
Making promises about helping your friend without providing concrete actions will not help your friend. Your friend might not be at a place, emotionally, to specify what type of help they need. Instead, you can offer concrete things you can do for them, such as watching the children or cooking dinner on a certain day.
Comparing their divorce to someone else’s situation
No 2 marriages are alike so no 2 divorces will be alike. Talking to your friend about other friends going through a similar situation does not actually help them feel better. Instead, it forces your friend to listen to other people’s problems at a moment when they are going through their own divorce.
Looking at the bright side of the situation
The divorce process might not be the time to look at the positive side. Your friend or relative might not be able to see any positive side to the end of their marriage. Instead, support them as they go through their different emotions by being empathetic about their situation.
It is good to support your friends through the process. However, be careful that you are not subconsciously overwhelming them with your own feelings.