Telling your children about termination of parental rights

The CDC reports that there are roughly 40,000 divorces in Texas each year. If you are going through a divorce, you know that life after a divorce brings about many changes, some expected and some not so much.

One of the most challenging situations you might face is if the other parent decides to relinquish their parental rights. Texas considers this a significant decision that affects not just the parents but, most importantly, the children involved. Approaching this delicate topic with your children demands sensitivity, understanding and preparation.

Choose the right time and setting

Timing and setting play a critical role. Choose a time when your children are relaxed and not preoccupied with other things like schoolwork or extracurricular activities. The environment should be familiar and comforting. For example, the living room or their favorite spot in the house. Ensure they have your full attention and that you are free from distractions.

Be straightforward but gentle

Start the conversation gently but do not dance around the subject. Tell them in clear terms what is happening. Avoid placing blame on the other parent, even if you have strong feelings about the decision. This conversation is about supporting your children, not venting personal frustrations.

Reassure them of their worth

Children often internalize such decisions and might think they are the cause. Emphasize that their other parent’s choice is not a reflection of their worth or lovability. Let them know that both parents still love them, even if one is choosing a different path in life.

Allow them to express their feelings

Once you deliver the news, give them space to express their feelings. They might feel sadness, anger, confusion or a mix of emotions. Listen actively and validate their feelings, showing them it is okay to feel the way they do.

Seek help if needed

Sometimes, children may need a professional to talk to, like a counselor or therapist. If you notice prolonged signs of distress, seek outside help to ensure they have all the support they need.

While the conversation about a parent relinquishing their rights is difficult, you can navigate it with empathy and care. By knowing how to approach the conversation, you can help your children understand and cope with this significant change in their lives.